Jaded Issue #21
Every woman needs an alter ego — for health purposes, must I add. Because so many of our “health problems” don’t start with food, hormones, or supplements. They start with overdoing. Over-giving, over-pleasing, over-caring about things that don’t even matter. Somewhere between being “the good girl” and “the chill woman,” we forgot we exist.
We became allergic to being called selfish, toxic, or “too much.”
We started shrinking, saying yes when we meant no, smiling through exhaustion because it’s easier than explaining ourselves.
But remember that alter ego you had when you were younger — the one who gave zero fucks when she had a few drinks in her and somehow felt unstoppable? The one who said what she meant, wore what she wanted, and didn’t apologize for existing? Yeah. Her.
Bring her back.
Because tapping into that version of you isn’t reckless — it’s medicine.
It’s how you reclaim your health, your hormones, your sanity.
That alter ego is your reminder that you can still be kind, grounded, and nurturing without abandoning yourself.
Why Setting Boundaries as a Woman Is Essential for Your Health
Women love to give.
It’s kind of our thing. We give advice, attention, care, energy, time, love, and the best parts of ourselves — usually to everyone but ourselves.
Somewhere along the way, we decided that self-care is selfish and that having boundaries makes you a bitch. I don’t know who started that rumor, but it’s done enough damage.
Because when you don’t set boundaries, your body pays the price.
That’s when the burnout hits. That’s when your stress hormones spike, your blood sugar goes off the rails, your skin breaks out, your cycle gets messy, and your immune system starts waving a white flag. You can meditate and drink green juice all you want, but if you keep abandoning yourself to make everyone else comfortable — your body will remind you who’s boss.
We’ve romanticized exhaustion. We glorify the woman who can do it all — working, cooking, cleaning, caretaking, looking effortlessly chic while she slowly falls apart inside. We’ve turned over-functioning into a personality trait.
And what do we get in return? Praise for being “so strong.”
We say yes when we mean no.
We people-please until we’re resentful.
We stay accessible 24/7 because God forbid someone thinks we’re “difficult.”
And while we’re at it, society keeps moving the goalposts.
In your 20s you’re supposed to “live it up.”
In your 30s, if you’re not married — what are you even doing?
If you are married with kids — why can’t you handle it better?
Then you hit perimenopause and menopause and suddenly you’re “crazy,” “untouchable,” and “hormonal.”
Meanwhile, you’re still trying to be everyone’s emotional support animal.
Still trying to prove you’re good enough, helpful enough, likable enough.
Still trying to hold everything together — including your sanity.
Let me be clear: you can still be a kind, loving, grounded woman and put yourself first.
That doesn’t make you cold. It makes you healthy.
Because boundaries aren’t walls — they’re medicine.
They’re the line between depletion and vitality. Between self-abandonment and self-respect. Between surviving and actually living.
So if you’re wondering whether boundaries might be your problem, ask yourself this:
- Am I chronically tired?
- Restless, irritable, or resentful?
- Saying yes to things I don’t want to do?
- Burnt out but pretending I’m fine?
- Do I even enjoy my own company anymore?
If you answered yes to any of the above — your body is begging for boundaries.
And no, you don’t need permission.
You don’t need to justify why your peace matters.
You just need to start choosing yourself — again and again — until it feels natural.
Because real wellness isn’t about restriction or perfection.
It’s about energy management.
And the healthiest women I know?
They’re not the ones doing everything.
They’re the ones doing less, on purpose.
If This Sounds Like You, It’s Time for a Little Housecleaning.
- Make two lists: one of all the things you want to do and another of the things you don’t. Write it all out. Get it out. Scream if you need to. The goal is to literally see it — to see how much of your life is spent doing things you resent.
- Write out how you want to feel — and what you want to be doing when you feel that way. YES, it’s selfish. That’s the whole point. Women have been selfless for centuries — look where that got us: tired, anxious, disconnected, and running on oat milk and adrenaline.
- Identify your priorities — your “want to’s” vs your “have to’s.”
Like no, you might not want to go to work, but you have to.
No, you don’t feel like packing your kids’ lunches, but you have to.
But also — you want to get your nails done? Then find time.
You want to try that new yoga class? Then find time.
This is where you learn to make your life feel good again — not just look good. - Practice saying no.
Keep a tally. Literally count how many times you say no and don’t apologize for it. If it helps, become that alter ego — the one with the confidence, the boundaries, the backbone. Pretend you’re her until you are her.
Channel that version of yourself who used to text her toxic ex just because she could — not because she cared, but because she was fearless.
That girl who gave no fucks?
You need her again — but sober, grounded, and healed.
Because saying no is how you start saying yes to yourself.
And honestly, your hormones, your energy, and your nervous system will thank you for it.
xoxo Olivia Jade
Jaded by Olivia Jade 
Leave a comment